When I was in college, a friend told me that she was planning on serving in the Peace Corps after graduation. A pang of fear hit my spine at the thought of her being so far from home, for so, so long. By herself. In a remote village. Possibly without electricity, running water, and cheeseburgers. I immediately applied. I had a strict code in my 20s, if it scared the hell out of me I was doing it.
I lived and volunteered in Sankpala, Ghana as a health volunteer between 2008 and 2010. It was incredibly hard, and exhilarating, and boring, and easily the most formative two years of my life. Yes, I was given more than I could dream of giving. The biggest gift was that of purpose.
For those who are about to embark on or currently serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer, here is my love letter to you. This is what I know about serving in the Peace Corps:
Life slows down. I mean real slow. After years of school and extracurriculars, a brutal Peace Corps application process, and months of rigorous in-country training, I was dropped off at my village and told to just watch and listen for three months before even attempting to create a health program. It was not a vacation, the boredom at times was excruciating. Some days were busier than others, but generally speaking my life in Ghana was painfully mundane. I had no idea what a gift that would be. I started out my career and adulthood listening, waiting, and reflecting. It instilled a deep sense of work-life balance, of developing priorities, and soaking up the little things. Every morning I drank a massive cup of milky tea and watched the sunrise on my porch. I sipped that tea for an hour while listening to my village wake up. Every day. For two years.
Let’s talk FOMO. I had the worst case of fomo nearly every moment I lived in Ghana. I was bummed that I wasn’t traveling to Timbuktu with other volunteers. I was anxiety ridden that I missed a special cultural celebration in my village while watching a movie under my mosquito net. As a volunteer, there is a strong sense of how finite your time is. Chances are you are keeping track of exactly how many days are left until you are home sitting in an air conditioned Starbucks in clean clothes (and maybe even with cute hair?). Every opportunity feels like a now-or-never. But the truth is, it’s not. I hardly traveled for five years after I returned to the United States. But then I took a month to travel around Southeast Asia, and dang, all those tingly travel feelings came flooding back. Life is long. Relax.
Another form of FOMO is being pretty sure that every volunteer you know is better at it than you are. Let me tell you, they may not be talking about it, but every volunteer is thinking it. I idolized one of my neighbors, who spent so much time immersed in her village. She seemed to so easily and naturally fit it. She was, shall we say, “fully integrated”. I on the other hand am introverted. While I had a handful of amazing friends in my village, I needed a lot of alone time. It took energy for me to casually venture through my village. I dealt with a lot of guilt that I wasn’t spending my afternoons shucking ground nuts with a group of wise women. I did spend an incredible amount of time with people in my village, but it was very much structured. I created numerous and regular health, literacy, and business programs for nearly every group you could imagine: with teachers, with nurses, with students, with widows, with men, with seniors, with a young girls group, with a young boys group, the list goes on. One day this Peace Corps neighbor told me she felt insecure about the lack of programs she was implementing compared to me, and I was floored! So there you have it. At the end of the day, you do you. Spend time with people in your community in a way that feels right for who you are.
Peace Corps is really hard, and I wasn’t always my best self. Let me clarify, I was hardly ever my best self. After about six months living abroad, you may want to forget you are a foreigner. But no one else does. It takes significant emotional energy to be frequently cheated and swindled, to not know what is going on, to be lost and confused, and to field dozens of curious questions a day. There were regions in Ghana where it was perfectly acceptable to grab a stranger to get their attention. So you can imagine what happens when a stranger grabs a young NYC woman (for example). I was always on edge while living in Ghana. I overcompensated for having little control by being hypersensitive to every single interaction. I had frequent outbursts – some were uncalled for, some were. I think my lowest moment was when a man overcharged me for rings that I bought in my own market. I discovered this when they were sold just a few stalls down for literally cents less. Being cheated in my own village was heartbreaking, and I had a total breakdown. I demanded a refund, and he refused. I stood in front of his stall cursing him through sobs (I hope you lose all your cows! I hope you have a terrible yield at farm this year!). My friend eventually took my arm and slowly walked me home. Every Peace Corps volunteer has their own meltdown stories. My advice to those who may be reading this while serving is that your emotional energy reserve does increase over time. Be sure to thank your local counterparts often for putting up with you at your low points.
It was the time of my life. I’m in my 30s, so I think it is safe to call the most fun I’ve ever had? I have never laughed so much and so hard than while living in Ghana. It was lonely and hard and stressful, but God I was so happy. I will treasure every moment with my students, each of whom burn a hole of joy in my heart. I will treasure every get-together with other Peace Corps Volunteers to dance, make elaborate meals from scratch, travel, make short films, and collaborate to serve our communities. To those who are now serving – with every low low, a high high is around the corner. Enjoy it. You deserve it.
I’m still processing it. Six years is not enough to time to reflect on living and serving in the Peace Corps. My life is so incredibly different now, that season feels as far away as Ghana is. I am trying to figure out which part of my 23-year-old self is still who I am today. What stuck. I’m learning to give myself grace for not always being the best volunteer or person at that time. It is heavier and frankly so much easier to feel guilty about the times I lost my cool than to remember the times I got it right. Right now, in 2017, I am grateful. I am grateful to the Peace Corps for giving me such an amazing opportunity to live so far out of my comfort zone. I am grateful for the support of the Peace Corps staff when I was sick, when I was scared, and when I was killing it at being a volunteer. I am grateful to Ghana, most especially to the people in my village. I am grateful that they allowed me to live with them, and that they took care of me. I am grateful that they were open to receive the resources I had for them. I am grateful they put me in my place when I was arrogant. I am grateful they stay in touch. I am grateful for all my fellow Ghana Peace Corps Volunteers, who became and still are my family and best friends. I am grateful for myself, for that girl who chose to do something so terrifying. I am grateful that I got really mad at injustices, that I was open minded about ways of life different than my own. And that I when I could, I gave it all I got.
RPCV’s – leave a comment with your tips and tricks on serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer!
You can read more about my experience in the Peace Corps by checking out my Waking Up In Ghana blog.